Sunday, June 29, 2003

Japan gets weirder by the pico-second
"Gang rape shows the people who do it are still vigorous, and that is okay. I think that might make them close to normal," domestic media quoted Ota as saying in reference to the recent arrest of five university students for alleged gang rape


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Toilet museam, tentacle porn, bukake and now this. It's official, Japan is the world's most fucked up country, and I still love it.

Friday, June 27, 2003

Listed on BlogShares
RoBlog now is available as a tradeable share on Blogshares. So if you want to pull a Martha Stewart, now is the time, kids.
On Chickens

"It's quite aesthetically pleasing to watch the chicken wander around the yard," said Herrine, 41. "My husband was not particularly interested in having chickens - he's away all day - but when he comes home and they're wandering around, there's something really cool about it, having fowl in the yard."


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I should point out that our family too has chickens (and turkeys), but I'd hardly call them "hip suburban pets". They're meat. Glorius walking meat. The article does speak the truth about them developing personalities, tho'. There's one rooster we call Broken Drumsticks that has quite, a personality... quite a personality for a *cripple*. You see, one of my younger brothers stepped on the rooster while it was a wee chick and now, Broken Drumsticks can't walk. Instead, he sorta wobbles around, looking for scraps of food that the other foul hasn't eaten. Since we own 5 roosters, there's constant cock fighting. Because of Broken Drumstick's disability, he can do nothing to defend himself from L'il Cock, the head rooster. Covered in cuts and missing a lot of his feathers, due to it's poor grooming habits, Broken Drumsticks will be the first to hit the chop block.
Quick! Release the bees!

Yes, but is it a teenager and a ninja?
Byrde on "Revisionist History" and the War In Iraq

On January 28, 2003, President Bush said in his State of the Union Address: "The British government has learned that Saddam Hussein recently sought significant quantities of uranium from Africa." [State of the Union, 1/28/03, pg. 7] Yet, according to news reports, the CIA knew that this claim was false as early as March 2002. In addition, the International Atomic Energy Agency has since discredited this allegation.

On February 5, Secretary of State Colin Powell told the United Nations Security Council: "Our conservative estimate is that Iraq today has a stockpile of between 100 and 500 tons of chemical weapons agent. That is enough to fill 16,000 battlefield rockets." [Remarks to UN Security Council, 2/5/03, pg. 12] The truth is, to date we have not found any of this material, nor those thousands of rockets loaded with chemical weapons.

On February 8, President Bush told the nation: "We have sources that tell us that Saddam Hussein recently authorized Iraqi field commanders to use chemical weapons – the very weapons the dictator tells us he does not have." [Radio Address, 2/8/03] Mr. President, we are all relieved that such weapons were not used, but it has not yet been explained why the Iraqi army did not use them. Did the Iraqi army flee their positions before chemical weapons could be used? If so, why were the weapons not left behind? Or is it that the army was never issued chemical weapons? We need answers.


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Despite the fact that this guy is an ex-Klansman, he sure does have a lot of valid points. I hope that someone out there listens to him and they follow up with an investigation.
Troops smash homes to hunt Iraqi militants


U.S. troops have psyched up on a bizarre musical reprise from Vietnam war film "Apocalypse Now" before crashing into Iraqi homes to hunt gunmen, as Shi'ite Muslims rallied against the U.S. occupation of Iraq.

With the strains of Wagner's "Ride of the Valkyries" still ringing in their ears and the clatter of helicopters overhead, soldiers rammed vehicles into metal gates and hundreds of troops raided houses in the western city of Ramadi after sunrise as part of a drive to quell a spate of attacks on U.S. forces.

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Can I say "The horror! The horror!", please?

Thursday, June 26, 2003

Why I want to see Wasabi

Found this review while dicking around on Grammarporn

Luc Besson produced this english-subtitled Jean Reno vehicle, which has him as a bad-ass French cop who goes to Japan to meet the 19 year old daughter he never knew he had; Yakuza-related hijinks ensue. Pretty much exactly what you expect (does Reno get suspended for not playing by the book? is there a comedy sidekick? does his daughter hate cops? do the Yakuzas dress all in black and drive black cars around? - the answeres are yes, yes, yes, and yes). Light and breezy; it was a lot of fun to see american cop-movie cliches dropped into a french movie, and Reno is excellent as usual.

If you see only one movie this year where Jean Reno gets his ass handed to him playing Dance Dance Revolution, make it WASABI


Reno playing Dance Dance Revolution? I'm *so* there!
Bush's first reaction to the September 11th attacks: the movie

Taken from the Memory Hole
At 9:03 AM on 11 September 2001, the second airplane hit the South Tower of the World Trade Center. President Bush was in Florida, at the Emma T. Booker Elementary School, listening to children read. Chief of Staff Andrew Card came over and whispered in Bush's ear, "A second plane hit the second tower. America is under attack."

What did the Commander in Chief do? Nothing. He sat there. He sat for well over 5 minutes, doing nothing while 3,000 people were dying and the attacks were still in progress.

Makes you think that the theories that Bush had former knowlege about the attacks has some credence, don't you think? Either that or the book that he was reading was *really* interesting.
Oh, and The Thing has a blog now
This is from an illustrated book on the history of Scientology. My favorite pages so far would have to be page eleven (haven't we *all* been there?), and the sinister page forty four.
Aeon Flux the movie is to be filmed in Brazil
A live action Aeon Flux movie? It's the best news I've heard all evening. Let there be leather! And kicking! And explosions! Amen!
Recent dreams
I had a whole whack of dreams last night, more than usual. Moving from the house to the cabin has really messed with my sleep, it seems. That, and the wasps that seem to be attracted to my prone sleeping body.

Dream#1
I was reading Heather's Blog in this dream, although I wasn't sure where. On the blog there was five boxes that detailed her experiences with her previous boyfriends. In the last box, she had wrote about me, although it seemed that she had forgotten my name. I was called a "thing" and that her dates with me were a "unmitigated disaster", explaining why I was in the last box.

Dream #2
I am a third person camera in the world of 24. Although I've never seen the show in real life, in my dream I seemed to be quite familiar with the characters and the concepts. The episode in my dream was the last episode of the second season. I think that it was around 6:00 in the show.

Keifer and this black guy that said that he was the president were resting on the top of some cars in the middle of rush hour. They were both debating their inability to combat the progression of time and decided to both take a day off from saving the world.

Dream #3

I was barefoot outside and yet the outside was in someone's basement. On the floor was a sentient lightbulb. Knowing the the bulb was evil encarnate, I smashed it, trying to destroy the filiment that was in control of the bulb. Somehow, the filiment attacked my foot and burried it's self into it causing me lots of pain. I managed to pull part of it out of my foot, but it kept on spreading in my foot, like a metal cancer. Then, I woke up.
Highlights of working at the hotel this evening

-Accidently giving a man a key to a room that was not empty and having him open the door to a man fucking a hooker. Ooops.

-Having a shirtless man come down and ask me for matches. I couldn't find any. Two hours later, he returns telling me that his lack of matches helped him get laid. He insisted on shaking my hand. He also returned with a shirt and blankets and sheets.

-Sending my co-worker a picture of a naked man, from the waist up, as she forgot to take it off of the computer before she left.

Friday, June 20, 2003

Whenever anyone asked him about Zen, the great master Gutei would quietly raise one finger into the air. A boy in the village began to imitate this behavior. Whenever he heard people talking about Gutei's teachings, he would interrupt the discussion and raise his finger. Gutei heard about the boy's mischief. When he saw him in the street, he seized him and cut off his finger. The boy cried and began to run off, but Gutei called out to him. When the boy turned to look, Gutei raised his finger into the air. At that
moment the boy became enlightened.


Believe it or not, I found this as part of the Paramedic Mission FAQ for Grand Theft Auto: Vice City. Having done the Paramedic Mission, I agree that acheiving Zen Enlightenment is the True Way To Win.

Thursday, June 19, 2003

Oh my God, I can't stop laughing
I guess I shouldn't have watched this clip while I had a customer come through the door. I got strange looks.
Micah Wright's Joe A.I.M.

Earlier this year, Marvel Comics announced that they were creating a new line of comics called Epic. The goal of Epic was to offer wannabes an oportunity to break into the industry through Marvel. Although they just started to accept submissions from the public, they were actively courting comic creators before the announcement to create some buzz for the new line. One of the comics selected was Mark Millar's Trouble. One that was not, was Micah Wright's Joe A.I.M.

First of all, you're probably asking yourself, "What's A.I.M"? If you're a hardcore Marvel junkie, you'll recall that A.I.M. is a group of scientists that dress up in fear inspiring yellow costumes and create killer robots. Their most well known one? MODOK. Joe A.I.M. would have been a comic about those one of those annonymous scientists and the trouble he gets into when he joins A.I.M. by mistake. From Micah Wright's pitch

"Joe Stephans is a middle manager at a huge consumer electronics company with a pregnant wife and two beautiful children and a shrewish Mother-in-Law. When Joe is downsized along with his entire division, he flips out and punches his boss in the mouth. Later, in Jail, Joe is mistaken by some criminals for their buddy Joe Stevans ("Geez, that's a reall good face job, Joe! You don't look nuthin like you used to!").
Desperate to get a new job with a health care plan before his wife gives birth to their new baby, Joe eagerly grabs the lifeline thrown to him by his new friends... a line which leads to a new job with what Joe believes is an Engineering company: Advanced Idea Mechanics. Too late, Joe realizes that he has joined the semi-famous international terrorist group dedicated to Anarchy and Terror and the destruction of all Government!"


Sounds pretty interesting, eh? It's too bad that it was never picked up. Wright has this to say about Marvel's failure to pick it up"

"Yeah, I can totally see why they couldn't be bothered to read this. How Weak this would be! I mean, I only had Garth Ennis in stitches at a bar in NYC telling him pieces of the story (like my favorite section where Joe tries to get his wife to breastfeed the new MODOK baby which has decided that Joe is its Father and won't let anyone else near it without blasting them dead with Mental Rays."

Too bad. Any comic featuring a breast-fed MODOK is ace in my books.


The Mystery of Britney Spears' Breasts: Revealed!

Friday, June 13, 2003

The Mob takes over the Sims Online
An underground group known as the Sims Shadow Government has taken over the fantasy world that is ``The Sims Online,'' meting out mob justice.

It's a violent twist for ``The Sims,'' the dollhouse-inspired computer game that has long been portrayed as the antithesis to guns-'n-gore bestsellers like ``Grand Theft Auto.'' The emergence of a seedy underbelly in the online game may reveal more about the dark fantasies of middle-aged suburbanites than anyone suspected.


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Gay bar! Gay bar! Gay bar!

I will not judge the Thunderbirds movie... I will not judge the Thunderbirds movie...
The Star Wars kid returns!
Fossil discovery proves Africa the birthplace of Homo Sapiens


A team of international palaeontologists has unearthed human fossils which date back 160,000 years. The scientists say the three skulls are the oldest human fossils ever discovered and provide hard evidence that Africa is the birthplace of Homo Sapiens.

And the findings published in the prestigious journal Nature also reveal these ancient people used sophisticated tools, had a taste for hippopotamus and engaged in some bizarre death rituals...


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Conversations with David: Aliens vs. Predator

Rob: Danny Glover called the Predator in Predator 2 "Pussy-face", what does that have to say about Glover's taste in women? Following Glover's logic, wouldn't an Aliens vs Predator film be an alagory of penis vs vagina?

David: The Aliens are penes? I don't see it.

Rob:No, the Aliens *are* penes.Look at them. Chest buster=evil penis! Don't you see large black penises killing people?

David: Um, no.
Judge: Rap is a foreign language

A High Court judge has admitted that when asked to examine the lyrics of a rap song, he could not understand a word of it.

Judge Lewison had to rule whether composer Andrew Alcee had suffered damage to his honor or reputation through the "derogatory" use of his UK garage number one hit, "Burnin."

The judge said the claim "led to the faintly surreal experience of three gentlemen in horsehair wigs examining the meaning of such phrases as 'mish mish man' and 'shizzle my nizzle.'"


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Japan fucking rocks.

Thursday, June 12, 2003

Hulk movie clips are online
Am I the only one that's surprised by the use of splitscreen? Methinks Lee was using it to acheive a more comic book effect.
Baboon binges on baby's brains
Utterly bizzare Zatoichi trailer
Okay, seeing a blind massure kill is great, but do we *really* need the Japanese version of Riverdance?
3:20
Lots of fun at the hotel this evening. Just saw one hooker go up to a new room and, if I understand correctly, there should be another one coming up in a second. Looks like someone is about to get their money's worth this evening. Fun fun fun!

It's been asked earlier what a hooker looks like. So far, what I've seen hasn't been all that impressive. All of them were women in their 30s that looked like they had done way too much smoking with heavily lined faces. They always look tired, but they're friendly enough to make chitchat when they come in. This one has blue eyes blood shot eyes (should we read into this?), a push bra that isn't pushing up much, a baseball cap and blue jeans. She told that she's gonna play some baseball this weekend. All the power to her.

Huh. She just came back down. I guess that either it was a *really* quick job or they didn't have any money for her. I'm leaning on the fact that the guys upstairs didn't have the money (gotta pay the damage deposit to get into the hotel). She calls me sweetheart and buys some popcorn. She's the nicest person that I've had to deal with on this job so far.

Egypt bans Matrix Reloaded on religious grounds and for excessive violence

...In a statement, the committee said that “despite the high technology and fabulous effects of the movie, it explicitly handles the issue of existence and creation, which are related to the three divine religions, which we all respect and believe in.”

It said the movie “tackles the issue of the creator and his creations, searching the origin of creation and the issue of compulsion and free will.” It added that “such religious issues, raised in previous times, caused crises."


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Friday, June 06, 2003

Invadev
Invadez is a website to those who sexually turned on by amputees. And who isn't, right?

A beautiful woman who is wearing a skirt. The fascination is very much a question of what you don't see.

For the devotee it is not only that only one leg is coming out of the skirt. The skirt serves as an appetizer. What's under it? Is there a stump and does it dangle when the lady walks?

Sometimes you can see something that must be a stump. Sometimes it seems obvious that there is nothing...

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Listen to Cat Steven's "Father and Son" and then the Flaming Lips' 'Fight Test"
Isn't that amazing?
An Alpha Flight retrospective

Alpha Flight was always one of Marvel's quirkier titles, no matter whom the writer. This is, after all, the book that somehow slipped past the higher-ups such events as Sasquatch becoming an unwilling transsexual and another teammate being the product of a supervillain mind-controlling her mother. The one thing it seemed they weren't able to get past the powers-that-be, though, was Northstar being gay. To be fair, it got by them for some time; the John Byrne era of the book was very subtle, but you could tell where it was going. That all changed when Bill Mantlo took over, with constant comments on Northstar liking men in tights and such. When Mantlo gave Northstar a "sickness", eyebrows were certainly raised, and Marvel informed Mantlo that Northstar having AIDS was right out. Mantlo wrote the character out by revealing that he was sick because he was a fairy (I am not making this up), and that was that.

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Alpha Flight is the quintisential Canadian super hero team. Backed by the Canadian government and led by a gay French separtist, Alpha Flight has it all. From a Jewish professor that teaches at MacGill university that turns into a giant Sasquatch to midget called after Canadian icon that happens to be magically enhanced by a genie, Alpha Flight is a super hero team that makes me proud to be Canadian.

Thursday, June 05, 2003

This gives me too much joy: Songs from Family Matters
Do you want to listen to Reginald VelJohnson and his fellow cast mates sing "Respect"? Well, internet surfers, now you can.
Is nothing sacred anymore:Evil Dead!: the musical
At this point, I gotta say how surprised I am that I seem to find these weird musicals. Hail to the king, baby!

Thanks to John for finding Godzilla's Guitar. Rock on, cowboy!